The Case of the Haunted Chateau
This was probably the messiest case we've ever worked. I thought I would share this testimonial from the client herself. The client was pleasant enough if not a bit... off? Actually, honestly speaking she was a complete loon! Ceremonial magicians do get into all sorts of trouble, don't they? Oh I shouldn't have said that, it's very unprofessional. She did pay in cash.
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Servicemen Par Excellence!
Oh, where to begin? I must say, I never imagined myself writing a review for something as mundane as a waste disposal service, but then again, I never expected to find one quite so… adaptable. You see, my family estate, sprawling and stately as it may be, has certain peculiarities—and no, I don’t mean the usual country house quirks. I’m referring to the spirits. Rude ones, at that. Yes, several dreadfully unsightly relatives still linger about the halls, knocking over vases and causing a fright at the most inconvenient times. One must endure, but it does create certain challenges when inviting outsiders to the property.
Nonetheless, when the situation with the remnants became unmanageable, I had no choice but to call upon Thoth to deal with the scraps. Oh yes, we had accumulated a fair amount of debris after a rather complicated and, frankly, ill-advised family affair, the less said about the better, but suffice it to say, the cleanup was a nightmare. Ashes, bones, remnants of ritual garments covered in… fluids. It’s all so terribly messy, isn’t it?
Well, imagine my surprise when their team arrived, and without a single raised eyebrow or gasp of horror, set about their work with the utmost discretion! Not only were they prompt and efficient, but they managed to avoid disturbing the more difficult residents of the house (the less we speak of Uncle Phineas, the better).
What truly impressed me, though, was their graciousness in handling my very special niece, who, poor dear, has been somewhat temperamental since breaking things off with her ex-boyfriend, Aleister. The servicemen, bless them, were quite unfazed when she levitated a few feet off the ground, cackling in tongues. They simply continued their work as though nothing was amiss—how refreshing! One even offered her a handkerchief when she spat fire. Now that is professionalism!
I cannot commend Thoth highly enough for their impeccable manners, discretion, and sheer unflappability. The estate is now spotless, and no one will ever know of the mishap, thanks to their swift and silent efforts. I daresay I shall never look at waste disposal the same way again. Should you find yourself in a similar predicament—perhaps with a surplus of ceremonial scraps or the odd demon lurking about—look no further than Thoth. They handle the extraordinary with ease!
Thanks mate I was feeling left out 😉