So, there I was, just another Friday night with me, myself, and a menu from the local Chinese take-away. The place is run by some old couple who I don't know personally, but between you and me, I reckon they're closet wizards or something. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about their Kung Pao Chicken (which is, by the way, transcendental), but about something even more mysterious: their fortune cookies.
Now, any self-respecting witch—or sceptic, for that matter—knows that the whole fortune cookie thing is a bit of a giggle. They're supposed to be fun, a little bit of post-dinner entertainment that's about as magical as a cardboard hat from a Christmas cracker. And yet, every time I crack one of those little bad boys open, I find myself staring at a piece of paper that seems eerily spot-on.
Just last week, after demolishing a portion of sweet and sour chicken that I'm pretty sure was meant for two, I popped open my fortune cookie to find a message that read, "You are never bitter, deceptive, or petty." Now, considering my line of work as a somewhat dubious provider of mystical services (and my occasional penchant for mischief), this fortune gave me a good chuckle. I mean, come on, it's like those little slips of paper have a sense of humour.
It's a bit like those astrology sections in the newspapers. You know, the ones that promise love, money, and adventure based on nothing more than your birthday. It's all sun sign hogwash, invented in the 1900s to sell papers. Yet, there I am, first thing in the morning, juice in hand, nodding along as if the stars themselves had aligned to give me a personal heads-up that I should avoid making financial decisions or that romance is just around the corner.
The thing is, both the witch and the sceptic in me can't help but get a kick out of it. It's like playing a game where you know the odds are stacked against you, but the thrill of the "what if" keeps you coming back. Those fortune cookies from the Chinese take-away? They're a part of my Friday ritual now. A little nod from the universe—or at least, from the clever folks who write those fortunes—that sometimes, you've just got to enjoy the mystery.
So, here's to the strangely accurate fortune cookies and the horoscopes that keep us entertained. In a world where we're all searching for a bit of magic, they remind us that sometimes, it's the little things that make life feel enchanted. And who knows? Maybe there is a bit of magic in them after all. Or maybe, just maybe, it's all in the way we choose to see the world. Either way, I'm not giving up my Friday night Chinese take-away any time soon.
"Shanghai, Hong Kong, egg-foo-young,
Fortune cookie always wrong."
Bonus points if you know where that quotes from?
* Crazy Sycophant enters through the stage trap door*
You possess both light and dark sides, but your inner beauty shines through. Your kindness has been a guiding light for me, and your unwavering support has helped me through some difficult times. I sensed something special in you from the beginning, and I now trust you completely. Thank you for being a beacon of positivity in my life.
I feel incredibly blessed to have you in my life. Your practical and logical help means the world to me. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else, but it breaks my heart to see you look in the mirror and see a beast. You are a balanced and perfect…
I understand it's tradition to append "...in bed." to the end of every fortune. So, "You are never bitter, deceptive, or petty... in bed."